A good friend gave me some great advice on how to get the most out of couples counseling. He told me that they use couples counseling like they do a car mechanic… If their relationship breaks down they spend a lot of time in counseling to work through it, but they also go for regular checkups. Not only does the regular checkup give you a formalized relationship check-in, but it also keeps the counselor connected to you and when a problem does come up they don’t need a lot of backgrounds to catch up. My wife and I use this strategy and find it to be very effective.
You also need to find a counselor that is a good fit for you. My wife and I wanted someone who was a bit aggressive and would get straight to the point. We wanted someone who would work through the actual arguments with us and give us the tools to do better next time. It took us a few tries to find the perfect fit, but now that we have someone we are very grateful as the counselor speaks our language and has been super helpful.
Did you find couples counseling useful? How?
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